Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Quote of the Day

All penises are not created equally.
- Alexyss K. Tylor, Penis Power

Dick Will Make You Slap Somebody

Amen. I've always said you haven't had good sex until you've had Slap Yo Momma sex. LOL.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Quote of the Day

Black women don't have the same body image problems as white women. They are proud of their bodies. Black men love big butts.
- Tyra Banks

I Heart Jennifer Lopez

A woman after my own heart: thick thighs, big butt and cellulite. Woo Hoo!

For more candid J-Lo pics click here.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Quote of the Day

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
- Sharon Stone

So My Sex Guy...

...calls himself trying to make amends. Also known as get some ass.

SMH

Dude hits me up Monday or Tuesday via IM and is all chatty and shit. He then says to me,

I'm on campus so I can come by if you're free.

WTF?

So, I'm like,

Naw. I'm busy. Sorry

He's like,

You can take a break and find an hour for some sex.

I'm like,

Naw. I'm busy.

And the conversation continues in that manner. Now, when I was trying to make amends and asked him to come over to show him how sorry I was his response was,

Well, I don't know about today but yeah, we can make that happen.

And you know what, he didn't come over that day. That's was like a week or so from when he got around to asking me if he could come over. And it wasn't like when I asked him he wasn't on campus (I live near campus) so he could have come then if he wanted to.

But I guess he needed to be the one asking. I also guess I was supposed to drop what I was doing and service him?

Once again I say, WTF?

That was his first attempt. He's tried a couple times after that initial conversaion. Dudes. Boy I tell ya. Well he can forget finding his way back to my bed. He was just the Sex Guy afterall.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

I Dedicate This To GH

The chorus sums things up right nicely.

My New Theme Song

Take that all you men who claim to care but don't know how to treat a girl. I may love you but I love ME more.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Quote of the Day

Men never remember, but women never forget.
- Unknown Source

So I Call Myself...

...trying to make amends with my sex guy. I wish I could say my motives were pure, but they weren't. While I was trying to apologize for the mean stuff I said to him a couple of weeks ago (completely taken out of context mind you) the real reason I was trying to make amends was rather simple:

He's my sex guy.

If I'm not sleeping with him then I'm not sleeping with anyone and we all know how much I like celibacy.

Anywho, I haven't been successful. Apparently dude has decided he wants to play hard to get. I guess he calls himself trying to man-up after the rather sappy display he showed a couple of weeks ago when it became obvious that I had hurt his feelings.

Sigh.

I mean what am I supposed to say? After a few well executed lays I'm supposed to profess undying love just because you caught feelings? SMH.

It seems like dudes always have answers when it's the girl who's feelings are on display but when it's the other way around, they have to go run off and lick their wounds and then turn into Neanderthals as they try to salvage their wounded pride.

Note to Guys: Don't front like you're King Dingiling and Mr. Player/Pimp when in reality you're a sad sap who's ready to wife someone up when the pussy gets to good to you.

Sorry for the vulgarity. But it is what it is.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Quote of the Day

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
- Oscr Wilde

GH Strikes Again

I feel like I was super tried and I didn't even do anything to deserve it. Here's what happened:

GH and I have been chatting via Facebook. Nothing major. I just knew he was supposed to start a new job at the University so I was asking him how work was. Eventually we get to a point where he says,

Hey, hit me up tomorrow. I might swing by.

I say:

Well I'm here all day today so if/when you get a chance feel free to stop by.

He says:

OK. Will do

I say:

Cool.

So, even though I realize it's not a definite "yes" he's coming over, I clean up my room just in case and simply because my room needed cleaning. I just had an incentive to do it sooner rather than later.

Anyway, I finish cleaning and I hear a car pull up outside. It's not GH's car but GH steps out of it. So I go downstairs to open the door and whatnot, (this is the part where I realize he knows my roommate's God brother who is staying with us and they chat it up) well, at this point, I realize a couple of things:

1. He parked in front of my house which is a no, no 'cause we tow 'round these parts
2. The car is still running

Neither of theses things are good signs that he's trying to stay and hang out. Not at all.

So he comes over and asks me if I have any Black Cd's.

I say:

Yeah

He says:

Can I get three of them.

I look at him like:

Are you serious?

He begs.

I say:

Sure.

And I go upstairs to get them. When I come back down to hand them to him after some more meanigless chit chat I ask him if he's coming back through here.

He then hits me with:

When?

AND he says it with attitude. Like it's the most far fetched shit he's ever heard.

I then look at him like:

What the Fuck Nigga? You said to me you might come thru today. I didn't ask you to stop by. I didn't say "come hang with me." So don't hit me with a "when" like I'm speaking a foreign fucking language and that the question is just the oddest shit you ever heard.

I guess he noticed the look on my face because he went into what I call, Bullshit Mode, where he offers some bullshit ass answer to said question and all I here is:

Wah, Wah, Wah, Wah...Wah

To which I respond:

Yeah. Okay. Alright. Later.

And GH:

Later


Now, can someone please explain to me why he dropped by my house to get a couple of blank Cd's? He coulda just asked me that shit over Facebook and I woulda been like yeah. Just come by and get them.

But don't look at me like I'm a fool 'cause I asked if you're coming over later after YOU SAID YOU MIGHT COME BY. You said that shit. Not me.

Anyway. GH is still GH. Lol. Some shit really does just stay the same.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Corection

A little while ago I wrote a post about the new song Read A Book. In it I said it was done by Lil' Jon. Well that was wrong. I got that information from where I downloaded the video and it was very wrong information.

The song was actually created by a guy named Bomani Ahmer. It started off as a joke when he was talking to a friend and said he wanted to create a Crunk song. His friend told him there were three rules you had to follow if you were going to create a Crunk song:

1. It had to be repetitive
2. It had to be aggressive
3. You had to curse as much as possible.

And with that Read a Book was born. So I apologize for the error. However, to the jackass who left a nasty message in my comments: Kiss my ass. The hostilities were completely unnecessary.

You can find more of Bomani Ahmer's work at www.notarapper.com.

Oh the song made it to BET when some execs caught wind of it online. Their newly founded (or resurrected) animation department was the one who handled the animation. That explains the big, gyrating butt. SMH. Leave it to BET.

Quote of the Day

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
- Alfred Hitchcock

Shameless Self Promotion

Well a few things:

1. I have a new blog. It's called Sweet Potato Pie and it's a practical guide to health and fitness for African-American women.

2. I've begin posting to my Black Cinema blog again which acts as a site for all things dealing with the ins and outs of Black film.

3. And my homeboy has a new blog call The Incredibly Interesting and Brilliant Mind of Jay Fingers. He's arrogant but he is brilliant. No lie there.

Well that's it for this round of shameless self promotion. LOL.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Speaking of GH...

...I am having a bad case of GH withdrawal. It's hard man. I love him. I miss him. And when I'm laying here in this be empty bed it's his arms I yearn for. It's his spirit I need. SMH. I really wish this would just go away. I really do.

I Have Dismantled....

....The Roster. Yes. I know. It's a tragic day.

But the reality is nothing was happening with those dudes and as much as I love GH, for now, it's done. So we'll see.

It's a new school year starting soon and, the way I see it, the possibilities are endless.

It might be time to settle down though.

I'm not making any promises however.

LOL.

Quote of the Day

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.
-Stephen Stills

I Swear I...

...am a horrible writer.

No, not the actual writing part. I'm good at that. The actual business part. Writing for a living. I'm horrible at that.

I just ROYALLY missed a deadline. Not intentionally mind you. I was set to meet said deadline but my computer was beset by demons a.k.a. my wireless connection failed and I couldn't log on to send in my articles. SMH.

Hell, it was already a reduced number of articles from earlier in the month and I still didn't finish. My only saving grace is that I've been working on other aspects of the project for the company so it wasn't like I was a complete slacker this month.

Still...

I gotta do better. I can't afford to lose this gig.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Quote of the Day

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Why Do Men...

....believe they have a monopoly on sex?

Why do they assume that if you say to them, "Hey it's just a sex thing," that you somehow mean something differently?

Look. If every cue you give me is that you aren't interested in a relationship and all you want to do is "kick it," then, if I'm feeling the same, I'm going to say "okay," we can "kick it."

So yes, I do think that every time you come over we should have sex.

And no it never did cross my mind that we could just, "chill."

You weren't the "chill" guy. You were the "sex" guy.

I'm sorry for the confusion.

However, if you'd like to discuss (and possibly change) your status, I'm open for discussion.

But don't go expecting its a done deal. 'Cause while I understand it may be hard for you to believe that when a woman says she's just looking for sex, she really means she's just looking for sex, when I say I just want to fuck--

I just want to fuck.

Is that clear enough for you?

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Put A Fork...

...in him. He's done.