Monday, July 30, 2007

Quote of the Day

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Why Do Men...

....believe they have a monopoly on sex?

Why do they assume that if you say to them, "Hey it's just a sex thing," that you somehow mean something differently?

Look. If every cue you give me is that you aren't interested in a relationship and all you want to do is "kick it," then, if I'm feeling the same, I'm going to say "okay," we can "kick it."

So yes, I do think that every time you come over we should have sex.

And no it never did cross my mind that we could just, "chill."

You weren't the "chill" guy. You were the "sex" guy.

I'm sorry for the confusion.

However, if you'd like to discuss (and possibly change) your status, I'm open for discussion.

But don't go expecting its a done deal. 'Cause while I understand it may be hard for you to believe that when a woman says she's just looking for sex, she really means she's just looking for sex, when I say I just want to fuck--

I just want to fuck.

Is that clear enough for you?

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Put A Fork... him. He's done.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

And Just For Fun...

....the orignal Rump Shaker video. Ya'll know if you were born in 79 or 80 ya'll was jammin' to this in middle school.

All I wanna do is a zoom-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom
Just shake your rump

Ahhhh Yeah...My rump is starting to shake right now...LOL!

Didn't Believe Me...

...when I said Hoin' Pays? Well, check out exhibit A:

Hmm hmm. Now tell me I'm lying?

Roster Update: Sunny

This Dude was a disappoint and may seriously be removed from the team.

I mean, we had great conversation on the Greyhound ride to Lake City (I was going to Jacksonville) and it everything seemed cool: He was funny, intelligent, cute, tall, lanky. It was all good.

But apparently he's wishy/washy or just believes he's so fly that he doesn't need to call or follow thru with anything he says.

He was the person I was supposed to hang out with on the 4th originally. First we kept playing phone tag, then we finally talked he said he had to wait for his roommate to get back to see if he could use his car (he'd totaled his in an accident).

And then he never called back.

I mean once it became obvious he wasn't coming (for whatever reason) then he should have called and said, "Hey, I'm not going to be able to make it. Maybe another time)

Not a good look.

Then recently (a few days ago) he texts me and says he wanted to see me since he was headed at the gym.


Call me crazy. Call me angry. Call me whatever. But I think if you want to see, then you should want to see me, not because you happen to be on my side of town and thought it would be a good idea to stop by.


Quote of the Day

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
- Eva Gabor

Roster Update: GH

So Gh and I haven't been on the best of terms recently. And not for the obvious reasons. For reasons unknown dude couldn't see to drop by and drop off the $20 he owned that I loaned him way back in April.

The only reason why I asked was because I was so broke that I only had $3.54 cent to my name-in change. Yeah.

Anywho, he just wouldn't drop it by. And, as you can imagine, I was getting uber frustrated because I thought he was just being selfish and insensitive about the whole thing. And I told him so.

I also told him that, "He talks to, calls and sees whomever else he wants to see why can't he just drop off the cash,"

Translation: I saw you chatting with that bitch in the gym so I know you had to be talking to the heifer and you can't drop off my mutha fuckin' money? Nigga what the fuck is wrong with you?

Anyway, after some prodding I got $14 of the $20 he owed me.

Then, after a little more prodding (all nice I assure you) he came by last Saturday and dropped off the other $6.

We chatted a bit. It was cool. Somehow we started talking about weight and whatnot and he was talking about how he was trying to drop his body fat. That the extra weight he was carrying around was mostly ass and thigh fat.

To which I replied, "Well it's not ass and thigh fat that kills you it's belly fat."

He said, "Yeah"

To which I said, "Yeah. Thank God ass fat doesn't kill you. I don't know what I would do. I don't know what would happen."

To which he replied, "I'd be speaking at your funeral."

Ha, Ha, GH. Ha, Ha.

Read A Book? WTF?

Have ya'll seen this follishness that is Lil' John's new song, "Read a Book?"

Why I say? Why? What the hell was Lil' John thinking? I understand I shouldn't expect great social commentary from the man who gave us "Get Low" and "Get Crunk" but..but...Damn.

This is the best he could do? A big gyrating butt with "BOOK" scrawled across it? A stinky boy walking around who's so funky the sun went to hide when he walked by?


Damn BET's Hot Ghetto Mess---We [Really] Got To Do Better.


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

There Is So...

much to talk about and such little time to do it in.

And why is my Facebook acting up right when I have several important messages to send?

And why have I still NOT received my income tax return?

And why am I haviing the worst summer EVER?

I've got some serious bad Joo Joo...


Monday, July 23, 2007

Quote of the Day

Unbeing dead isn't being alive.
- e. e. cummings

I Swear Men...

...are some territorial, sensitive ass bastards.


Explain the following:

1. Are you seriously trying me with the "I'm not going to kiss you" shit? Really? You kissed me before but when I tried to kiss you last night you kept pulling away.

Note to you: The quickest way to end up out of my bed is to play that no kissing game. I am not a whore so quit trying to treat me like one.

2. If you aren't asking me out on a date...then why are you concerned about someone else asking me out on a date? Hell. Better yet if we are NOT a couple, then why do you care if I am seeing someone else or not?

Dudes claim that girls don't know how to separate sex and love. That we are always catching feelings. That we always want to mark our territory. Always trying to claim a Nigger...etc.

Well NOT ME! Hell. I don't ask questions I don't want answers too. If I say I'm just looking to kick it, then I'm just looking to kick it. If we're not together, regardless of how I feel about you, I assume you're seeing other people. Shit, I am.

The way I see it, it's time for dudes to start taking a page out of my book and quit acting like women are the only ones that need to learn to mind their own damn business and how to keep their feelings in check.


....this is something that has been bugging me for a long time. Ever since the actual event ended a couple of weeks ago. So here goes..

Is it just me or did the Live Earth concerts seem like the biggest waste of energy/natural resources imaginable?


I mean think about all the oil it took to move all of those people and equipment around. Think of all the exhaust and wasted gas from the planes, trains and automobiles (buses) that carted all those entertainers, their bands, their staff and their stuff around the globe.

I thought the idea of the event was to raise awareness of the damage we are doing to the earth and all the horrors (peak oil, global warming, water scarcity) that face us because of our hard consuming, non conservationist ways.

And the best way we think of to bring attention to this horror of horrors is to consume even more energy/natural resources?

And that somehow makes sense?

The Live Earth concerts are a lot like our obsession with ethanol and electric cars. In our attempt to seem "green" and conservationist we create new ways to run our automobiles.

However, we don't seem to understand (at least us Americans anyway) is that the question isn't how we're going to keep our cars running but how are we going to live without our cars.

Throwing a bunch of concerts filled with really famous acts isn't going to educate people about the need for changing our ways where Mother Earth is concerned.

Lobbying apathetic governments and politicians in not so subtle ways will.

If Live Earth is the best effort we can mount to save what is ultimately ALL of our home then it is a sad (and hopeless) day indeed.

The Roster... in serious need of an update. I'll have to make that a project for another time however. It's coming though. It's coming.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Quote of the Day

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
- Josh Billings

Hoin' Pays

Yeah you read that right. Hoin' pays. And not only does it pay, it pays well.

Don't believe me?

Go check out Karrine "Supahead" Steffans website and check out KarrineTV and then tell me what her bankable talents are?

Or if you're interested in the white girl version of Ho's R Us go check out the Girls Next Door page and look at the lovely life of Hugh Hefner's 3 girlfriends.

Yeah they may be sleeping with an 80 year old man but you can't tell me the trade off doesn't make even the mot anti-ho of us pause and think,

"Well..maybe only for a year or two."

I'm sure I'll catch a lot of heat for this post but let's be real: while many of us sit and toil away in graduate programs, or at jobs we don't love, trying to acquire that American Dream, many women are doing better then we will EVER do by being on their backs, the pole or their knees.

And I'm sorry, you can wax poetic to me all day long and tell me how that kind of life is fraught with peril, and loss of self respect and it isn't God's way.

And to that I say...whatever.

That's just what good girls tell themselves to make them feel superior to the bad girls who are living the life they good only dream of.

Call it chicken envy. Call it my very empty bank account. Call it what you will, but I read Supahead's book and after all the strippin', hoin' and video trickin' what I came away with was: If you leave the drugs, alcohol and the truly no good men alone then you're straight. Stack your pape, get out the life, and sit pretty.

It's just that simple.

And It's just not fair.

And while I'm not one to complain about life not being fair, in this case I'm going to whine. All this education and my real asset is well, this ass of mine. Between my brains and my ass I could be sitting pretty.

But no.

That damn moralistic upbringing of mine just kills any hope of that. So instead I get to watch as various women around me make bank and I sit and try to figure out where my next payday is coming from.

All I can do is shake my head. 'Cause while I toil away trying to make a better life for myself and my daughter, the right way, there are other women who know and understand something that secretly we ALL know and understand:

Hoin' Pays.

Monday, July 16, 2007

I Think GH...

...has a new jump-off. It's the same chick that set me off a couple of months ago when I saw him chatting with her on Facebook.

The one that made me initially ask him for the $20 dollars he owed me (which I still haven't gotten all of) because I was so ticked that he was talking to her and not talking to me.

The one who made me finally get my school e-mail because I wanted access to her Facebook page.

The chick I saw him in the gym with today.

That chick.


I could feel the anger coursing through my veins when I saw her live and in the flesh. I thought my head was going to explode. I just knew I was going to lose it.

Of course I didn't. He waved when he saw me. Came by and gave me a hug. And I watched to see if he and chicky would leave together.

Trey didn't. They went their separate ways.

But still. But still.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Quote of the Day

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
~ Woody Allen

Okay, So Maybe... was 2 strikes and a foul.

It's Like Baseball...

...three strikes and you're out.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Quote of the Day

I've always been of the opinion that if you can count your money, then you ain't got none.
- Don King

Saturday, July 07, 2007

I'm Sitting... In my best lingerie. In a cute baby tee. Alone. Why you say? Because my company for the evening, Mr. 4th of July, has just told me how he's just going to stay in tonight instead of coming over. He doesn't have his car and he was waiting on friends...yada, yada,yada.

The reasons don't matter. It all adds up to me sitting here. In my best lingerie. Alone. Sigh.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Ah, I Should...

...really listen to my instincts where people are concerned. Especially men. I knew dude screamed hit-it-and-quit-it type. But instead of sending his ass home I "jumped on the dick" anyway. Damnit.

Don't get it twisted, this isn't some guilt laden, I feel dirty and used rant. No, this is a, the Beast has now been awakened and I can't get that heifer to go back to sleep rant. Shit.

I'm a horny fucking toad now with no reliable outlets. Looks like I'm going to have to get myself BACK into not getting any mode. Fuck.

Quote of the Day

Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be.
- Jose Ortega y Gasset

See, Here's The...

...problem with awakening a Beast: The Beast is now ravenous. Damn near insatiable. One meal, no matter how good, doesn't do the trick. It wants, nay NEEDS, more food. Often. And when it doesn't get the requisite amount of food? It's grumpy. Very, VERY, grumpy. This is why its best to let sleeping Beasts lie.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Quote of the Day

“Sex” is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.
- Marquis de Sade


...the dry spell is over.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Quote of the Day

Life is a long lesson in humility.
- James M. Barrie

It's Damn Near...

...5:00 in the morning and I'm still up. Today or yesterday I should say was a pretty damn awful day for reasons I won't go into here but what it made me realize is that I am in need of a profound change in my life and I needed it, like, yesterday.

I've been running for awhile. Left Miami went to Atlanta. By default ended back up in Jacksonville. Ran away from Jacksonville and landed in Tallahassee and really want to leave Tallahassee and go...somewhere.

Now I'm intelligent enough to realize that it's not the place, its me but it doesn't stop me from looking for something...whatever it is that keeps me running. Some would say I'm having a quarterlife crisis. But this crisis has been brewing since high school.

I have never ever felt in place or like I belonged. Until, just very recently, I managed to feel less like an outsider and more like I fit in somewhere and wasn't some grand anomaly. But in all honesty I know in my heart of hearts that I'm not doing what I should be doing or in the place I need to be. And its frustrating. This restlessness has been haunting me since high school.

Now if I were to be completely honest I have always, ALWAYS done what is expected of me. And I would have never gone to college when I did if it wasn't for the face that that's what was expected of me. I didn't really want to go. I like learning but stopped liking school once I hit high school. And most of what I learned in my life I've learned outside of the classroom on my own time in my own way.

I would have benefited greatly from taking a year to intern or travel or do a little soul searching to figure out who the hell I was at 18 and what the hell I wanted to be. And not "be" in the since of do I want to be a doctor or a lawyer but "be" in the since of what kind of person did I want to be, what kind of citizen, what kind of friend daughter...individual.

But being the poor Black girl who's mother's one goal in life was to send her to college, I took my poor, black, ass to school. And I was miserable. Let me repeat that: I was MISERABLE. There's no other way to put it.

And do this day. I keep doing what's expected of me. And I am still fucking miserable because of it. In the last six months I have gotten two Americorps Vista positions turned them both down. I have talked my way out of applying to several jobs that I was really interested in and I had a job interview for a pretty cool position in Miami that I turned down. Why? Well one, I'm a chicken-shit but more importantly it wasn't what was expected of me. Everyone keeps telling me "Finish school," "Get that Masters." My mother (with the help of my 65 year old aunt) made it abundantly clear that she expects me to finish this degree.

Except...this ain't what I want to do. It's just not. I've come to grips with that. But now comes the hard part. Those two words that can strike fear in the strongest of hearts: Now what?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Monday, July 02, 2007

Stealing another's man's wife costs $4,802

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- Stealing someone's heart can cost you: Just ask German Blinov.

A Cook County jury ordered Blinov to shell out $4,802 last week after he was sued by a husband from a Chicago suburb for stealing the affections of the man's wife.

Arthur Friedman used a little-known state law to mount the legal attack against Blinov. The alienation of affection law, one of eight across the country, lets spouses seek damages for the loss of love.

But Natalie Friedman, the woman at the center of it all, claims her husband asked her to have sex with other men and women -- including Blinov -- to spice up their relationship.

She supposedly began having feelings for Blinov, prompting her husband to file the lawsuit.

"This guy ruined my life -- he backstabbed me," Arthur Friedman told the Chicago Sun-Times. "What he did was wrong. And I did what I had to do to get my point across."

Blinov doesn't deny having a relationship with Natalie Friedman while she was married, but he was surprised to learn he could be sued for it. His attorney also said Natalie Friedman was unhappy with her marriage before the relationship started.

"German was not a pirate of her affections," attorney Enrico Mirabelli said. "Her affections were already adrift."

Courtesy CNN

Only $4,802 dollars. Not even an even $5,000? Lord what is the world coming to. SMH.

Can I Just Say...

...There are NO redeeming qualities to celibacy.

Let me repeat that:

There are NO redeeming qualities to celibacy.


Can I get an Amen?

Sunday, July 01, 2007

I Seriously Need... get my shit together. I can't seem to summon up the discipline to write and write regularly. I mean I been on this computer all damn day and I haven't completed one article. I'm costing myself money and that's just bullshit, especially considering how broke I am. Damn. What the fuck is my problem?

Quote of the Day

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

What Do You... when you have a roster filled with bench palyers and no starters? Damn. Looks like I need to conduct a new draft. The problem is where do I scout some new players?

So Blue Texts... last night and after a few exchanges accuses me of giving him the, "homeboy treatment," and how he told me, "that's not what [he] wanted." I just told him goodnight and threw some virtual kisses his way. I mean, what am I going to say? He's right. I guess I am homeboying him but no matter how hard I try there's just no sexual attraction. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. What's a girl supposed to do?

My Pseudo Therapist...

...keeps trying to convince me that I want a relationship. The reality is that what I want is very simple: a little time, a little conversation and lots of sex. It can come in the exclusive variety or not because at this point I'm not sure I have what it takes to settle down,settle down. What I want is consistency.

No irregular sex, no unexplained disappearances, no bullshit. If you want to still do your thing fine, 'cause believe me I will do mine, but just to know that there can/will be someone there when you need them to be and vice versa, as well as getting my back broken on a regular...well that's good enough for me. I don't need a soulmate and I don't need to get married. But I do need and want sex and companionship...mixed in with a little excitement and a bit of variety. That, to me, is the recipe for happiness.

Why Is It...

everytime I turn on the tv their are people having sex? And not just any kind of sex but back-breaking, heart racing, nasty, low down dirty, kinky, pull your hair, slap your ass, drenched in sweat, funking up the whole room, sex. Not just sex but fucking. Hardcore fucking that would make Heather Hunter blush. And yes I see all of that on tv. The beauty of having premium cable channels.

Now the question is why am I not having sex. Good. Ole Fashion. Nasty. Dirty. Sex. Where is a big, ready, willing and able dick when you need one? Damn.

Well, It Doesn't...

...look like things are going to go anywhere with Sunny. We keep playing phone tag and I'm not sure how much of call-n-dodge I (we) are gonna take. Damn I say. Damn. He's the only guy on the roster that I have a genuine interest in. Oh well. It's still early I guess. we shall see.