Monday, June 30, 2008

Quote of the Day

Our skin is brown because it’s supposed to be. Our hair is kinky because it’s supposed to be. It’s not something that needs to be fixed or hidden. It’s not something to be ashamed of. There is no bad hair or good hair. It’s just hair.
- Naturally Curly

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sisters, Stop Waiting on God to Bring You a Man


Sisters, Stop waiting on God to bring you a man.

As a matter of fact, if I hear this particular meme out of the mouths of otherwise intelligent and accomplished women, one more time, I think I'm going to scream. The complete insanity of this statement and how it misrepresents God's role in our lives never ceases to amaze me.

Let me ask you this: Would you wait for God to pay the rent? Finance your education? Fix your car? Better yet would you say, "Oh, Im just going to wait on God to finish this degree. I know when he is ready for me to have it, he'll let me know. I can't rush these things."

No? Sounds ridiculous right. Well if you're one of those women who are constantly talking about how you're waiting for God to being you your H.I.M. and you won't rush that, or won't questions God's pace as you sit and languish in dating no man's land, you sound just as ridiculous as my hypothetical situation above.

Look. Ultimately God helps those who help themselves. I know that's in the bible somewhere. I've heard it quoted often enough. So if you want to find your special someone than you have to actively help God out to make that happen. God's role isn't to find your man for you and drop him off at your front door, but to help you make a decision between the three men you've narrowed it down to and make sure that you choose the best guy for you and not just the one that makes your lady parts the hottest (even though hopefully they will be one in the same).

I recognize there is a very powerful Christian lobby out there that is conspiring to keep Black women single, in the church and hoping for a man. Well I'm here to tell you that that is not how it works. Just as many of you have worked hard to earn degrees, move up the corporate ladder and have otherwise successful lives--you're going to have to use those same skills to find your future husband.

Yes, I would love it if God dropped off a 6'3 250lb Idris Elba look-a-like with a PhD and a tenure track job at a major university who is an accomplished writer and could set the sheets on fire at my front door, but I know it doesn't work that way. And you should too.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Quote of the Day

I don’t think aliens or ghosts like black people. We never get abducted; our houses never get haunted. It always happens in rural areas, where no ethnic people live. The day I see somebody from South Central Los Angeles say, ‘Man, I got abducted yesterday,’ then I’ll believe it.
-Xzibit on his new X-Files movie role

Update: Apparently Black folk do get abducted by aliens. Not only do they get abducted but they were the first recorded case of such abductions to be bought to the publics attention.

Betty and Barney Hill Abduction Case

Thanks Doc.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Quote of the Day

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce

Friday, June 20, 2008

A Moment of Narcissism

There isn't much better in the world than hearing your name during sex.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Quote of the Day

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- Buddha

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Dollar and Cents - Writer's Block


The worst thing about stressing about The Dollars is that it stifles my creativity. Constantly worrying about finding a job, paying bills, and buying groceries ('cause right now the cupboards are empty) makes it near impossible to do much else...namely write.

I feel like if I'm not actively seeking employment (search for jobs, applying for jobs, networking, etc.) than I'm not being productive. Intellectually I realize that the other things I have to do -- my thesis, a couple of writing projects, my blog, my one "job" that I have let -- are equally as important and will probably help me with the job search, but it has been hard getting any of that done.

I am very, VERY stressed. And while I am calm and not pulling my hair out or anything, I am very uneasy about the uncertainty of not just my immediate future, but the direction of my life in general.

I started Dollars and Cents to help me work these things out. And to completely honest these blogs are the only thing keeping me from falling completely a part.

Related Posts
Dollars and Cents - Drowning My Sorrows
Dollars and Cents - The Soap Debacle
Dollars and Cents - My Bills

Quote of the Day

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.....
- Mignon McLaughlin

How I Spent My Friday Night

Epiphany - Jill Scott

Watching,
Watching as he took the holder off his shoulder
Fire in his eyes,hands getting bolder
Quiet,quiet
Growing excited
Dug him for his bank account,but really for
his private
Damn about a mindset
Really wasn't into that
Needed me some pleasing,jon looking real fat
Laidback was his foreplay
All that was needed,needed was some of that
Started simple
Massaging on my temple
Pinching on my mountain peaks
That a sisters into
I responded,"Mmmmm."
You like the sound,I like makin'it more
I fell for the rock and shore
Enough,he brought it close so I could really see
Up close he slid between my breast
Sweaty with lust and sweat

Rode Mt.Saint Scott 'til ooooo
Creamy lava landed on my skin and neck
Blended with my all day Chanel scent
This freaking was incredulent,decadent
Flip side,stomach meets sheets
He plows inside as if he's making beats
As if this year's harvest depended on it
Bendin'on it
Back on my back old fashioned is renewed
Red toenail polish on whitewalls
Documenting this freaking,ahhhhh
I must...
Remember...
To thank him...
Later.
No,no,no,
No,no,no
I take charge of ship
Moving with my back and my hips
Like my ancestors did
Speaking the Bantu,Ranga and tonga??
But I've gotta stop all that to make it longer,
But it's too late
I put him to sleep
Curled all up,spasm all in his feet
Feeling all proud like I did something deep
Aint really nothin'it's the way that it be
North Philly sister repin'hard like me
But why do I feel so empty?

Friday, June 13, 2008

The Strong Black Woman is Dead

The Strong Black Woman is Dead…

On August 15, 1999, at 11:55 p.m.,
while struggling with the reality
of being a human instead of a myth,
the strong black woman passed away.

Medical sources say she died of natural causes,
but those who knew her know she died
from being silent when she should have been screaming,
milling when she should have been raging,
from being sick and not wanting anyone to know
because her pain might inconvenience them.

She died from an overdose
of other people clinging to her
when she didn’t even have energy for herself.
She died from loving men who didn’t love themselves
and could only offer her a crippled reflection.
She died from raising children alone
and for not being able to do a complete job.

She died from the lies her grandmother
told her mother and her mother told her
about life, men & racism.
She died from being sexually abused as a child
and having to take that truth
everywhere she went every day of her life,
exchanging the humiliation for guilt and back again.

She died from being battered
by someone who claimed to love her
and she allowed the battering to go on
to show she loved him too.
She died from asphyxiation,
coughing up blood from secrets
she kept trying to burn away
instead of allowing herself
the kind of nervous breakdown she was entitled to,
but only white girls could afford.

She died from being responsible,
because she was the last rung on the ladder
and there was no one under her she could dump on.
The strong black woman is dead.

She died from the multiple births
of children she never really wanted
but was forced to have
by the strangling morality of those around her.
She died from being a mother at 15
and a grandmother at 30 and an ancestor at 45.

She died from being dragged down
and sat upon by UN-evolved women posing as sisters.
She died from pretending
the life she was living
was a Kodak moment instead of a 20th century,
post-slavery nightmare!

She died from tolerating Mr. Pitiful,
just to have a man and the house.
She died from lack of orgasms
because she never learned
what made her body happy
and no one took the time to teach her
and sometimes, when she found arms
that were tender, she died
because they belonged to the same gender.

She died from sacrificing herself
for everybody and everything
when what she really wanted to do
was be a singer, a dancer, or some magnificent other.

She died from lies of omission
because she didn’t want
to bring the black man down.
She died from race memories
of being snatched and raped
and snatched and sold and snatched
and bred and snatched and
whipped and snatched and worked to death.

She died from tributes
from her counterparts
who should have been matching
her efforts instead of
showering her with
dead words and empty songs.
She died from myths
that would not allow her
to show weakness without
being chastised by the lazy and hazy.

She died from hiding her real feelings
until they became hard
and bitter enough to invade
her womb and breasts like angry tumors.
She died from always lifting something
from heavy boxes to refrigerators.
The strong black woman is dead.

She died from the punishments
received from being honest
about life, racism & men.
She died from being called a bitch
for being verbal,
a dyke for being assertive
and a whore for picking her own lovers.
She died from never being enough
of what men wanted,
or being too much for the men she wanted.

She died from being too black
and died again for not being black enough.
She died from castration
every time somebody thought
of her as only a woman,
or treated her like less than a man.

She died from being misinformed
about her mind, her body
and the extent of her royal capabilities.
She died from knees pressed too close together
because respect was never part
of the foreplay that was being shoved at her.

She died from loneliness in birthing rooms
and aloneness in abortion centers.
She died of shock in courtrooms
where she sat, alone,
watching her children being legally lynched.

She died in bathrooms
with her veins busting open
with self-hatred and neglect.
She died in her mind,
fighting life racism, & men,
while her body was carted away
and stashed in a human warehouse
for the spiritually mutilated.
And sometimes when she refused to die,
when she just refused to give in
she was killed by the lethal images
of blonde hair, blue eyes and flat butts,
rejected by the O.J.’s, the Quincy’s, & the Poitiers.

Sometimes, she was stomped to death
by racism and sexism, executed
by hi-tech ignorance
while she carried the family in her belly,
the community on her head,
and the race on her back!

The strong silent, talking black woman is dead!

Or is she still alive and kicking?
I know I am still here.

- Laini Mataka

Quote of the Day

You will not hurt my pride
If right now you decide
That you are not ready to settle down
But if you want my heart
Then it’s time that you start
To act like you’re mine in the light and the dark
- Brownstone, If You Love Me

Throwback Fridays - Jill Scott: A Long Walk

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Dollar and Cents - Drowning My Sorrows


I'm drowning my sorrows in a freshly baked batch of chocolate chip cookies.

Publix brand of course.

Gotta watch the budget.

Related Posts
Dollars and Cents - The Soap Debacle
Dollars and Cents - My Bills
Dollars and Cents - I'm Broke

Quote of the Day

But it's an amazing amount of kids involved with this -- 20 -- in an affluent school district. This isn't, you know, the inner city; you would think that these kids would have some kind of a values system.
- Bill O'Reilly

Michelle Obama, a Baby Mama?

According to Fox...


Okay. Since we're going with the Black-isms someone needs to "pimp slap" Fox news producers, hell just go one and "pimp slap" Murdoch. This ish is ridiculous. You think they would refer to Nancy Regan as a "Baby Mama?" How about Cindy McCain? Hell, even HRC wouldn't get this treatment. This is why I was so critical of Obama going of Fox. When you go on their network you give them legitimacy when they are far, far from legitimate. The woman is a Harvard graduate, who is married with 2 kids; she's no one's Baby Mama.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Dollars and Cents - The Soap Debacle


So I went grocery shopping the other day and I had $30.00 to spend. Yeah I said $30.00. Anyway, I needed some soap. But the O'lay I usually buy is $2.79 for 2 bars. And when I was looking around I noticed that Publix had a store brand soap that was $1.79 for 3 bars.

Now, I normally wouldn't consider a store brand soap but with my $30.00 I had to buy food to last a couple of weeks, a ream of printer paper, T.P. and soap; so a 1.79 for 3 bars was looking pretty damn good. Besides, Publix brand goods tend to be pretty good; from their Greenwise products to the canned diced Italian tomatoes, I can't think of a time that I've been disappointed with Publix brand products.

So the soap should be good right?

Right?

Oh how wrong I was.

I went home, hopped in the shower, popped open the soap and was hit by the funkiest scented stuff I've smelled in a long time. It was supposed to be "Spring Fresh." Yeah okay. If that was spring I wouldn't want to smell summer. Sheesh. That ish was AWFUL. And to make things worse it was so strong that it permeated my entire bathroom and my bathroom is tiny, so it was particularly awful.

Not only that, but the stuff doesn't foam. It's awful. Awful. It's like that damn Lava, a big block of funky smeling, non-foaming, green, soap. I couldn't take it, so the next day I went back to Publix and spent the $2.79 on my O'lay soap. Not only did I not save money, I spent a $1.79 more than I would have if I would have just bought my regular soap to being with. Lesson learned.

Sometimes. Just sometimes. You get what you pay for.

Quote of the Day

One of my exes - a blond white guy - told me that this is because white men define masculinity in terms of giving protection and providing security. He said that white men do not believe black men define masculinity in that way.
- Lisa Vasquez

Monday, June 09, 2008

Quote of the Day

Love is an action verb. Choose. Commit. Make a Covenant. Or be happy with the way things are for you (since you chose it) and speak no more on it. It is what it is because you speak and make it so.
- TravelDiva

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Scanning IPods for Unlicensed Music


This is what happens when you allow corporations to make policy and the bastards are too greedy and stupid to revive or replace a dying business model. Should this become law, and there is no guarantee it won't, then my movie, music buying days are done. Hell I don't even buy (or download) music now as it is. I listen to free internet radio instead.
Documents passed to Wikileaks have revealed the extent of an international copyright treaty being formulated by the US, EU, Canada, Japan and Australia.

The Proposed US ACTA multi-lateral intellectual property trade agreement (2007) could see customs officers checking media players for pirated material.

The Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (ACTA) is not yet in force, but is aimed at cutting down on the distribution of unlicensed material.

The proposed treaty would remove the current distinction under many national laws between people who profit from intellectual property theft and those who do not. This would mean that sites offering BitTorrent feeds, for example, could be prosecuted even if they do not profit from the material.

More worryingly, the treaty suggests that customs officers should be given the right to search laptops and media players for pirated material.

Quote of the Day

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
- James H. Boren

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Drug Resistant Cancer, Threat to Black Women


We've really gotta start taking better care of ourselves:

Black women are more likely to have diabetes, hypertension and certain forms of breast cancer than the general community. Yet many are reluctant to seek early treatment.

African-American women in general don't get the appropriate care they need," says Shonda Perry, a physician at St. Joseph's Women's Hospital. "Many don't have access to care, they fear going to a physician. There are so many obstacles they face."

Although a higher percentage of white women are diagnosed with breast cancer, black women have a higher death rate, Baker says. Black women also tend to be diagnosed later than white women.

"That's partially because of how late we wait to seek out treatment and some early detection methods," Baker says. "Lack of information and knowledge, lack of access, transportation issues, there's a multitude of issues that contribute to late diagnosis."

Baker also will shed light on a form of breast cancer unique to black women called "triple negative." The cancer is a triple threat because it strikes early, it's resistant to standard drug treatments and it's more likely to kill.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Place Your Bets


Odds that:

- Hillary Clinton get the VP slot

- Barack Obama joins a Black church

- Barack Obama joins a multi-cultural church (50/50 Black vs. White with some Other thrown in)

- Barack Obama joins a multi-cultural church (more white with Hispanic, Black and some Asian thrown in)

- Barack Obama joins a multi-cultural church (more Hispanic than black or White and a sprinkling of Asians)

- Barack Obama joins a White church

- Barack Obama continues to distance himself from anything that smacks of Black nationalism

Quote of the Day

Obama acknowledged that joining another black church, where ‘there's a different religious tradition or a worshiping style' might be equally problematic as his membership in Trinity. He said he probably will not make a decision about a new church until January.
- The Washington Post

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Quote of the Day

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.
- Robert Louis Stevenson