Why Down Low Men Aren't the Problem

Down Low men aren't the problem.

I'm really tired of black women believing that the biggest risk to their sexual health is the idea that they may be sleeping with a man who is sleeping with other men.

The biggest risk to black woman's sexual health is the lack of condom use and unfaithful men period. It doesn't matter who he's being unfaithful with, it just matters that he's not only sleeping with you, and you're not using protection with him. That's how you catch ish. That's what you need to concern yourself with.

Every since that dude wrote that book many black women have been treating every black man they encounter as a suspect. How many times have a heard someone say, "Girl, you need to be careful. He might be on the Down Low."

Funny, but I rarely hear women mention this caution when they think or know their man is sleeping with another woman. Where's the concern then? Where's the fear?

Newsflash: there is no evidence or study that shows black women are contracting sexually transmitted diseases because the men they are sleeping with are all secretly gay, just in the closet.

If we were to have an honest discussion about factors that contribute to black women contracting HIV and other STDs then the mass incarceration of black males would be part of that conversation. What everyone knows, but no one likes to talk about, is that sex in prison is normative.

Men who otherwise wouldn't be having homosexual encounters do so when in prison. And many of these men don't consider themselves gay and don't go on to lead gay lives once they leave prison. Since sex is against the rules in prison, no one is passing out condoms and diseases are being spread. These men get out, go back to sleeping with women, women aren't insisting on condoms or don't use them regularly and volia you've got high STD rates among a certain age and class of black women.

But instead of having that conversation, everyone is running around hopping, skipping, jumping and being afraid of the Down Low. It's a new year. If we're not honest with ourselves about what the dangers are, then how can we address the problems. Every black man isn't suspect and it's high time black women stop treating them like they are.