Friday, January 02, 2009

Interracial Relationships: Anyone But a White Man For Me

Originally Posted on t-time 080708

I’m a fan of interracial dating. I strongly believe that, for Black women, interracial dating is a must. This insistence of "Only a Black for me," is baffling to me. I don’t get it. I recognize that often we are socialized to date Black men and only Black men. The messages we receive (even if not from family) seem to be that only a Black man will care for us, understand us, respect us, even if their is plenty of evidence to the contrary.

In her post, “Interracial Dating: Grudgingly Heading Toward Acceptance,” Latoya Peterson gives a very thoughtful, non-cliched reason for her having such issues with her best male friend’s dating of only white women. While the article is a must read what caught my attention was one of her comments in response to another commenter on her article:

…I still don’t date white men. To me, that’s the line in the sand that I don’t want to cross. Too much political baggage for me to start unpacking that. I don’t begrudge others, but I think I have a better chance of being in a lesbian relationship than seriously dating a white man.

When I read that, all I could say was: AMEN. I completely agree. I am a card carrying member of the “Anyone but a White Man for Me,” club. There are any number of reasons for this: I like dark skin, I’m not that attracted to White men, I don’t want mixed kids but the main reasons for me fall into the cultural and the political.

Culturally, I am VERY Black. Southern and Black to be exact. I am not the least bit assimilated. I do not worship at the alter of Whiteness nor am I impressed by it. I don’t Shift . I don’t alter my speech patterns, inflections, the way I laugh, anything, when I’m in the presence of White people. It’s part of the reason I won’t work corporate. I don’t wear The Veil well, or at all, and I have little patience (or respect) for people who expect me to.

What does all of this have to do with dating White men? The personal is political for me. White privilege is alive and well, so is the entrenched and institutionalized racism that is a part of this country’s founding. The idea that I will be making love and babies with The Enemy, is a problem for me. One I’m not sure I can get over. Are there any exceptions to this rule? Sure. I’ve known White men who were culturally Black, and no I don’t mean wanna be White boys, I mean guys who, for various reasons, were raised by or around Black people. With them, because there are cultural markers, I can relate and may, may, be able to cross the racial and political barrier.

Now, theses are my issues. But for Black women who can cross the White Line by all means do so. I want people to be happy and loved and wherever you can find it you need to hold onto it and keep it. For me, I will be keeping my options open, he just won’t be White.

19 comments:

Bryan Wilhite said...

You've just lost your guest spot on the next Oprah for this one! I would like to ADD to what you are saying and help us NEVER forget that whiteness is ready for all skin colors. The most melanized love of your life can be deeply white. What is whiteness? When you make the mistake of calling war "natural" that is a sure sign of whiteness. Too many self described "Black warriors" do this... I did in my twenties...

Anonymous said...

I agree 100%! I could never date a white man but would have no problem dating other races of people.

JJ said...

Yes@Bryan.

There are plenty of White Black men I wouldn't date either. Plenty. And yes many self proclaimed "Black Warriors," are a no go for any number of reasons.

Jess said...

You are so stupid! I mean, think about it,bm HATE dark skinned bw so what are you setting you future daughter up for when you have a child by one of these bm who are known for drooling over light/white women?70%of bw are single, what will it be when you future daughter grows up? Black women like you are very selfish and I put you in the same category as the bm who constantly degrade bw and place ANY light/white woman above us.

Jaded said...

I totally understand your post. I like in CA and as a chocolate girl...the brothers aren't interested! And I am so conflicted about white guys. Especially the one who think of black girls as a stamp on their passport! I guess this means we've gotta run the gamut of the brown (and "yellow") people!

and1grad said...

I care more about how we relate to each other and if the vibe is right than I do skin color. I think too many black women place too much emphasis on their color and even their shade of that color and its not only pessimistic but self-defeating.

Sunshyne said...

If I were to go white he'd be the darkest of the bunch like an Italian or somethin. I just like my men dark.

tasha212 said...

I agree wholeheartedly.

clnmike said...

Jess

You are an ignorant muthafucka.

Whats the matter not enough black women to holla at?

Anonymous said...

I do not agree at all - I would much rather date a white man than another black woman - lesbianism is not an acceptable substitute for a man!

Interracial Love Magazine said...

This is Interracial Love Magazine.

How are you, Love?

You appear to have a warped sensed of what "being black" is.

1)The corporate world is not made up of solely Caucasians or "assimilated Blacks."

2) Speaking proper, gramatically-correct English does not belong to Whites.

3) Of course White privilege and racism exists. And it will continue to exist regardless of who you date.

In my opinion, it isn't so much the fact you are not attracted White men as it is you:

A) Don't feel worthy of their attention

B) Do not truly understand or have the ability to tolerate other culture

C) Think that dating White men is "selling out" and being non-supportive to black men or black culture.

D) Think that you have to change who you are for White men.

Of course, not all Black women will be attracted to White men, that's a given. And I respect that.

But segregating yourself is doing you a disservice.

And hey, what's so wrong with biracial children? I have plenty.

Interracial Love Magazine

DV said...

The Enemy? White men are the ENEMY? Go ahead and segregate yourself and live in your afro-narcissistic world, but please ... stop suggesting, as you do here, that whites demand respect from you. The only thing "the Enemy" demands from you is to leave us alone. No one I know of ever asked a black woman to "wear the veil," whatever that is. You appear deeply and disturbingly self-obsessed, but in any case, don't worry, none of your enemies will demand that you make love to them or bear their children. If you think they do, you need to get an appointment with a psychiatrist.

Anonymous said...

I am a whute male. For the record I feel the same way about black women. However I don't mind taking the occasional test drive in a black sports car, I just don't ever want to buy it.

african woman said...

I am a black woman and I absolutely agree with you I don't like to date white man but there's no problem for me to date other races specially asian men.

Anonymous said...

Brokersring.com - Learn how to turn $500 into $5,000 in a month!

[url=http://www.brokersring.com/]Make Money Online[/url] - The Secret Reveled with Binary Option

Binary Options is the way to [url=http://www.brokersring.com/]make money[/url] securely online

Anonymous said...

[p]Once he found, [url=http://www.newsneakershoes.com]cheap jordans for sale[/url] what he widely known as, the appropriate star, he ended up being "locked into" specific dates that the rest were required to center around . Shorts: Wearing casual shorts feels safe in the warmer months, but make sure they're the best length, that is past mid thigh at or higher the knee . Choose shoes and handbags that match the gown which can be neutral in color . The two pluses and minuses exist on the subject of acquiring from an on-line wholesale website, [url=http://www.cheappsneakershoes.com]jordan shoes[/url] like urbanhotlist . The revolutionary crimson sneakers that the type of miraculous, enable superb in addition to fine female enchanted, additional create girls ahead of gentleman discovered self-confidence as well as hot . The constant starting, [url=http://www.newsneakershoes.com]new air jordans[/url] abrupt stopping, high jumps and quick side-to-side maneuvers linked to basketball make gets into something essential when scouting for a playing shoe . Nydj Tummy tuck abdominoplasty Jeans are made to increase your confidence level by [url=http://www.newsneakershoes.com]cheap air jordans[/url] looking into making your stomach look flat raise the buttocks and nicely contour your hips . The lugged outsole together with removable/replaceable [url=http://www.cheappsneakershoes.com]cheap air jordans free shipping[/url] insole is exceptional while using the two comforts as well as function . Along with new designs, throughout today Nike negotiated binding agreement with Michal Jordan, a properly-known, [url=http://www.newsneakershoes.com]air jordans for sale[/url] and also popular, basketball player.[/p]

Anonymous said...

[p]com/weblogs/giuseppecasp13/2012/jun/28/a-really-good-moving-corporation-are-usually-an-ex/







Related Articles - shopping mall, Juicy Couture Bags, Proenza Schouler Bags, Wholesale Jordan Shoes, Yves,





Email this Article to a Friend!

Receive Articles like this one direct to your email box!Subscribe for free today! . For so many years now, this type of clothing has [url=http://www.ppoloralphlauren.co.uk]discount ralph lauren polo shirts[/url] been very popular . It assists to set your own manufacturer as well as organization brand upward inside [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]ralph lauren outlet uk[/url] lights . You can purchase all the latest [url=http://www.ppoloralphlauren.co.uk]polo ralph lauren uk[/url] Abercrombie and Fitch products at Totally Discounted . 猫聛陆 Some sort of June 2006 [url=http://www.ppoloralphlauren.co.uk]cheap ralph lauren polo[/url] victor involved with "Outdoor Magazine's" Monster Benefits award, this specific outdoor dollars . Be sure to keep an eye on Voi Jeans and Ralph Lauren . You can choose from the different types of necklaces available in the market . Plainly own sometimes peeked ones desire or perhaps need fearful you sufficient then go for it proceed with caution . com

The table of men, women and AOS, AOS cheap Ralph Lauren Polo Shirts set with this supplier are in fact accurate admired by anon valid in humans as add-on that they are definitely breeding announced aberrant accepting clothing and apparel RL.[/p][p]Polos comfort . 猫聛陆 No other possibilities is going to be superior to searching an important buckskin bank balance if you want to get a classy however long-lasting chequebook bank [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]ralph lauren outlet online[/url] account . Design teams therefore aim to create clothing [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]cheap ralph lauren polo shirts
[/url] that incorporates innovative ideas while keeping the outfits affordable . com is [url=http://www.ppoloralphlauren.co.uk]ralph lauren polo shirts[/url] India忙聤炉 largest T-Shirt and Online T-Shirts Shopping Services provider . Ralph lauren currently



ralph lauren at the time

There are [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]polo ralph lauren outlet[/url] a lot of crimes happening around the globe nowadays . This key move created a name that has rung strongly throughout many households around the world . As with regard to Madonna and Guy's relationship status, the statement released to People magazine scans: My husband and I are not thinking about getting a divorce . cheap ralph lauren polo shirts, cheap ralph lauren polo shirts





Related Articles - cheap ralph lauren polo shirts, polo ralph lauren outlet, ralph lauren shirts, Clearancepoloshirts, fakeRalphlaurenpoloshirts, ralph lauren polo, polo,





Email this Article to a Friend!

Receive Articles like this one direct to your email box!Subscribe for free today!.[/p]

Anonymous said...

Very good blog you have here but I was curious if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics talked about here?

I'd really like to be a part of online community where I can get responses from other experienced people that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Bless you!

Visit my homepage: individual dental plans

Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot for sharing this with all of us you really
realize what you're speaking approximately! Bookmarked. Please additionally seek advice from my web site =). We may have a hyperlink change contract between us

my web blog :: cost Of Dental Implant