Thursday, October 11, 2007

Knowing When to Move On Pt. 2

I received a note from one of the Essence 30 Dates in 30 Days women, Michelle. Talk about surprised. Who knew people actually read this blog. LOL.

As the fourth 30 Dates woman on the scene, I'm going to have to politely disagree with your assessment JJ. I was in a relationship that lasted 5 years (6 years ago) and of course it didn't work out. After that I instituted a 2-year rule, if it doesn't happen by then, its time to move on. But this is only relevant if marriage is your end goal. I attended the wedding a few years back of a couple that dated for 10 years! TEN YEARS. They now have a baby and are happier than ever. Could it be an anomaly? Perhaps, but it could happen. The point being, there is no one-way to do anything. We all have to find our own way, and make our own mistakes.

First, thanks Michelle for reading and commenting on the blog. Hope you keep coming back. And good luck on those dates! Now I obviously disagree and here's why:

1. There are exceptions to every rule. But that doesn't mean that the rule doesn't apply. Do you want to be the exception or do you want to be married?

2. Everything I wrote applied ONLY to women who are looking to be married. If you're not looking to be married then what I wrote isn't for you.

3. The only time the year and half/two year rule wouldn't apply is if you were in school, or military service, Peace Corps, or some other major time centric commitment.

4. And like I said in the comment section to Michelle, why would you give someone that much power in your life? Men are still the one's who propose in this society and if he's not proposing why would you sit around hoping, wishing, praying for him to propose? Why would you not take your life into your own hands, move on and find someone who wants to marry you?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you! I am 25 and have been with this guy for 2.5 years and ended up having a baby with him. I am also in my last year of school to get a bachelor, but guess what...time is up! Not because I'm on the rise, but because watching my son grow up so fast has made me realize just how precious time really is. I am tired of all the excuses--not enough money, not where I want to be, etc. Damnit we made this bed together, but you're not trying to make it comfortable together!!! Before the baby I was unsure about how I felt. I was on the fence about getting married and shacking up. Now I see why it is important to make it happen FIRST. As a result I feel like we have blocked our blessings and now the relationship is practically over!!! So ladies take heed or else you just might end up being 35 and alone.