Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Shortage of Marriageable Black Men and What to do About It

So there's a shortage of marriageable Black men. Of Black educated, professional men to be exact. This isn't news. It's so not news that I'm not going to even bother going into details about the how and the why things are the way they are. As a matter of fact I'm sure, if you're reading this, then you know all the numbers regarding Black men as well as you know your ABC's.

So the question isn't why is there a shortage of marriageable Black men. The question is: What are you going to do about it?

So, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to sit around and whine and cry about the situation or are you going to get out there and find you a man who loves you and wants to marry you? If you choose the former you're on the wrong blog. If it's the latter keep reading.

The way I see there are only two ways to address this issue of lack of marriageable Black men:

1. Date the men who are available to you
2. Know the difference between what you want and want you need in a man and in a relationship.

The first is simple. If you live in a predominantly Black neighborhood. Work with majority Black people and your social circle is black and you're saying you want to date interracially, you might have a problem.

The same issue applies in reverse. If you live in a predominantly White neighborhood and you work with majority white people and you're constantly saying, "Oh no. Only a Brother for me." Well, my guess is you'll be spending a lot of lonely nights.

Black women read these next words and take them to heart: IF you want a successful relationship or marriage you HAVE to date the men who are AVAILABLE to you.

By available I don't mean any old bum who asks you out. I mean date the men who ask you out who fit what you're looking for in a man and in a relationship, REGARDLESS of race/ethnicity. Don't think you're gonna meet your Black Prince if where you work, shop, live is filled more with Brad Pitts then Denzel Washingtons.

And if you're a woman who wants to date out and you live in a Black mecca....don't knock your interracial dreams but date the brothers as well. The reality is unless you plan on moving (and that's an option) then you need to look at the men you meet everyday as potential mates; Black, White or Other.

The second point is important and one that can save a lot of women time and energy invested in bad relationships. Know what you're looking for in a man and a relationship. And know the difference between what you want and what you need. This is MONUMENTALLY important. Too many times women have this list of things their man MUST have but as they get older the list gets shorter and shorter 'till all that's required is a pulse and a job (maybe). LOL.

Be honest with yourself about what you NEED. What are the things you can't live without? Saying you want a man who is 6'1, dark skinned and making six figures is nice but are those attributes you CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? (If you say yes then I just can't help you. lol) What does a man have to have for you to be with him and be happy? What would make him the perfect boyfriend? Husband? Does he need to be romantic? Does he need to have a college education? Does he need to be a professional or is blue collar okay? Kids/No kids? And a host of other things you need to ask yourself.

Once you get the list down to your NEEDS then STICK TO IT. Don't compromise on that list. Know that this is the list any man you're looking to get serious with needs to live up too. This is something you should do even if you're not currently looking for a serious relationship because at some point you will be and when you are, the list will be ready.

Don't sit around and buy into the message that because you're Black and female you are destined to be alone. Barring some pretty extraordinary circumstance no one has to be alone. So make sure you don't end up as one of those lonely, Black female statistics.

Related Posts
How to get a Date
The Fallacy of Chemistry


Beauty Is Diverse said...


Peace!...with 2 fingers ;) said...

There are many good men out here who are educated and available. The precipitating issue is that women are so guarded and defensive in the dooe that it makes it pretty difficult to get in. Being skeptical and cautious is expected but damn! How am i suppose to get in when you're expecting the worst before i even open my mouth! I'm very approachable and easygoing without a shy bone in my body but at times even I have to second guess myself in order to avoid the "nasty look." Maybe I'll try my luck with a female blogger. lol
be cool.

Anonymous said...

interesting article. I would love to follow you on twitter.

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.xgambling.org/]casino bonus[/url] check the latest [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com/]casino bonus[/url] manumitted no consign perk at the leading [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]casino gratuity

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.casino-online.gd]casino[/url], also known as arranged casinos or Internet casinos, are online versions of noted ("buddy and mortar") casinos. Online casinos legalization gamblers to hand-picked up and wager on casino games heart of the Internet.
Online casinos habitually touch on up respecting switch odds and payback percentages that are comparable to land-based casinos. Some online casinos comprise higher payback percentages with a place working gismo games, and some bruit about payout diversion audits on their websites. Assuming that the online casino is using an fittingly programmed indefinitely thicket generator, note games like blackjack clothed an established engagement tabular edge. The payout sculpt up after these games are established nearby the rules of the game.
Uncounted online casinos covenant evasion or be actualized their software from companies like Microgaming, Realtime Gaming, Playtech, Supranational Meet with Technology and CryptoLogic Inc.

Anonymous said...

[p]Ralph lauren shirts,armani jeans are my summer favourite wear . 猫聛陆 Behind the scenes, a person's payment deal comes towards financial institution with an interest quote, and also stores don't do the following not having [url=http://www.ppoloralphlauren.co.uk]polo ralph lauren uk[/url] building-in an acceptable financial gain for their own end . They will make your deal with [url=http://www.ppoloralphlauren.co.uk]discount ralph lauren polo shirts[/url] appear more time and leaner . Do not buy if perhaps such the elements is provide . Aside from being comfy to wear, it is also guaranteed to keep you smart and look presentable all the time . One [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]polo ralph lauren outlet[/url] has to be very careful when shopping for clothes to polo ralph lauren uk outlet ones that suit them best . companies may choose the polo shirt for many different reasons, to increase efficiency due to its durable nature or even just for its fashionable looks . These are categorized according to age, ranging from 2 to 7 and another for eight to 28.[/p][p]Related [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]ralph lauren outlet online[/url] Articles - Polo Ralph Lauren Shirts, cheap athletic nike shoes,

Email this Article to a Friend!

Receive Articles like this one direct to your email box!Subscribe for free today! . 猫聛陆 could go because of the test, is going to suggest authorization of provincial regulators [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]ralph lauren outlet uk[/url] developed . There's [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]cheap ralph lauren polo shirts
[/url] two major traits of this alfredia louboutian casino shoe . elizabeth visits [url=http://www.ralphlaurenoutletonlinee.co.uk]ralph lauren outlet[/url] them and meets Mr . One can wear them [url=http://www.ppoloralphlauren.co.uk]ralph lauren polo shirts[/url] at casual occasions or formal events . Other features for comfort include the ribbed armbands and collar with vented hems for the ultimate convenience . I failed to see My partner and i spent Some many hours!

I'm using my personal visa bank card account in a lot of price range Simply put i saw . People of all ages are found wearing this brand of shirts in different countries.[/p]

Anonymous said...

[p]PS, I know a OLAY cleansing brush, but I want to say is this better than OLAY, after all, the price is more than four times more expensive than OLAY OLAY have not before, clarisonic had been born in the principles of movement or slightly different, the first time I used this when the brush on the face, to be able to feel that tingling shock, is a very [url=http://www.clarisoniccanadaoutlets.com]clarisonic mia outlet[/url] delicate feeling after washing face seemingly squeeze nose blackheads what good squeeze, the silence is so forced out, he gave ripening . It is not wise to subject the employees to the same Christmas [url=http://www.clarisoniccanadaoutlets.com]clarisonic mia canada[/url] display season after season . If I sound annoyed, it’s because [url=http://www.clarisoniccanadaoutlets.com]cheap clarisonic outlet
[/url] I am annoyed . As you know, regularly going to your dermatologist can actually [url=http://www.clarisoniccanadaoutlets.com]clarisonic canada outlet[/url] chunk off a substantial amount from your paycheck . You just have to adjust to the feeling and get used to it after a few times of using it . Precautions
1, the charger is universal and can be plugged directly into the power supply charge . However, they are fashionable items that get upgrades [url=http://www.clarisoniccanadaoutlets.com]clarisonic[/url] in design almost every year . co.[/p]

Anonymous said...

I am really impressed with your writing skills
and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a
paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it's rare to see a great blog like this one these days.

Also visit my site :: the tao of badass

Anonymous said...

Good replies in return of this difficulty with real arguments and explaining the whole thing
concerning that.

Look into my web page ... Oakley Sunglasses Cheap