Thursday, December 28, 2006

Quote of the Day

"Who the hell comes missionary anymore?!"
- Y2, THE LOST WASHINGTONIENNE

Monday, December 25, 2006

Sunday, December 24, 2006

I'm Having A Bad...

...fucking football year. Jags/Patriots game. Jags down by 3, Patriot ball. Defense makes a HUGE stop. 3 and out Pats. We get the ball back with 2:20 to go. Damn PUNK ASS BITCH Garrard FUMBLES THE FUCKING BALL!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FUMBLE THE FUCKING BALL WHEN ALL U NEED IS A GOTDAMN FIELD GOAL TO TIE THE FUCKING GAME! Bitch.

Quote of the Day

"I never look back darling, it distracts from the now."
- Edna Mole, The Incredibles

Friday, December 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

"Knowing better and doing better are two very different things."
- My Momma

I'm Stuck...

...on campus. It is raining cats and dogs outside and I don't drive. More specifically, I don't know how to drive and on most days I walk to campus. Now I could go on and on about why I'm 26 and don't know how to drive, but I'm not. I'll save that post for another day.

Anywho while being stuck on campus I've been sitting in my office (yes I have an office) and surfing the web. While reading a blog that I read daily I came across this blog that was featured on the site, Finders Keepers Club. Maintained by Victorya Michaels Rogers, an author and relationship coach (how does one become one of those), the site's purpose is to encourage, "...single women on [their] search for Mr. Wonderful."

Usually I would say to such drivel Big Fucking Doo....but on one of her posts she reminds me of something I know but well, needed reminding:

When things change, the biggest mistake single gals make is thinking the guy he was during the first phase of your relationship was his true self! Thus, gals either take the blame onto themselves for the new behavior OR make every excuse you can think of for their man--such as "he's got trouble at work" or "he's under a lot of stress", "he was just kidding," etc. etc.

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET
Ladies, "What you see IS what you get". Not "What you saw is what you will keep getting". Pay attention to what you are getting from your guy right now! In the first few months of dating ANYONE can be anything thing want. It's called acting. Hey we all act at least a little bit in the beginning. We deliberately put our best foot forward. There's nothing wrong with that. But eventually our true self has to emerge. Learn to stay alert in your relationship and notice how your boyfriend is treating you AFTER the newness has worn off. Otherwise you will end up just like way too many heartbroken (and divorced) women who have ignored warning signs, took on the blame, stayed in the relationship, married the guy and payed dearly for their mistake.Pay attention to what you get and one day you'll be surprised and thrilled to find a man who is truly still worth keeping after the 4th month of dating. Refuse to settle.

That's true. And when I complain about GH it usually goes a little like this:

But he used to call me and he used to come by regularly and he used to seem really interested in me. But now he doesn't.

Or my personal favorite:

He has so much going on in his life right now (which is true). Maybe if I just give him some time to get his life in order, things will go back to how they were (which probably isn't true).

It's not like I don't know better. It's not like I'm not an intelligent, insightful woman who doesn't know bullshit when she sees it. But at the end of the day I'm still just a girl who wants the guy I like to like me. And because of that I occasionally forget the shit I know to be true.

But I remember now. And will act accordingly.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

It's Time For...



...something new. It's time for changes in my life in general, GH and my finances in particular. My New Year's resolution starts now, not on Jan 1, 2007. As far as GH....well I need more than this. This...whatever this is...is not working. Not anymore.

You can't not call, or I don't see you for two weeks and then when you want to use something of mine (my comp, my TV) u make an appearance. I want a relationship. And as much as I have no desire to be celibate, I'm also tired of the "in between" the "what are we doing" sorta phase we've been in. You know: I want to say this, but you're not my man, so I don't say anything, for fear of saying the wrong thing and having you run for the hills, type shit.

Fuck That. I'm desirable. I have a plethora of men after me and at some point (hopefully) someone will come along that wants me as much as I want him. Fuck you GH. Yeah the sex is good but I can (and will) find good dick elsewhere.

Re Finances. That shit has got to get in order. Every damn semester I say I'm not going to let myself be broke by the end of the semester. Every godforsaken year I say I'm going to have money saved and not be counting pennies by the end of the year. Does this shit ever happen? HELL NO. Every fucking year I'm broke. I might do well for awhile and then some month comes along and it all gets fucked up.

This year the month was November that sent me crying to the poorhouse. A combination of Black Friday shopping (securing items for a Boston job interview) and my Mom. And in year's past my Mom has been one of the major factors in depleting my bank account. Since I can't really say no (I have zero balls where she is concerned) to her, I will start saving money directly for the phone calls that I know are going to come from Momma. I'll set aside money in an interest bearing account just for her. That she doesn't know about of course.

Financially the goal is to have 10,000$ in a high-yield money market account by July 31 2007. And by the end of the year 2007 (read December 31) to have 20,000$ saved. Not to be touched. That's the plan and I'm going to map out how I'm going to get there. Soon. Very Soon.

As far as other shit, I gotta get this weight off my ass. I'm fucking 20lbs overweight. Yeah you read that shit right. 20 fucking pounds. No that doesn't contradict anything that I just said about me being desirable. And no that's not why GH doesn't want me. He thinks I'm fine just the way I am. My weight is carried in my butt and thighs. I have no stomach and big boobs and a fairly muscular build. I look like a track star. And I am shaped like a Coca-Cola bottle (old ones. not new ones). So no, even with the xtra 20, I am still many a man's wet dream. And if you're now reading this thinking:

"This is one fucking conceited (and fat) Bitch."

I'd say:

"Go Fuck Yourself"

I'm just stating the obvious. I've been told this shit since I was 10. I'm 26 now. It is what it fucking is. And if it makes you feel any better, for all of my desirability, I still can't have the mothafucka I want. So there. So fat Bitches with men unite. U got one up on my sexy ass.

Quote of the Day

"I have no desire to make windows into men's souls"
- Elizabeth I

So, GH Is Currently....


....lying upstairs in my bed. NO. I didn't sleep with him. Well to be fair, my "friend" came a knocking so that is why, not because I'm rationing the NaNa or anything like that. He came by (late) last night to use my comp and to (possibly) hang out a bit.

The weird thing is he decided to stay the night. He has NEVER spent the night. Read NEVER. I chalk it up to his moving. Maybe sleeping on the homeboy's couch wasn't as good a proposition as my bed. Who knows.

Anwho, how was it? FUCKING AWFUL. I coulda been sleeping with my brother for all the fun it was. I wasn't expecting sex because of the aforementioned "friend" but DAMN could a girl get a cuddle or something? A kiss goodnight? A back rub? Sheesh! This fool doesn't like me. He doesn't. This fucking sucks. Sigh.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Why Can't The...


...damn boy just like me? Is that too much to ask? I'm cute. I'm funny. I'm inteligent and to quote T.I. I gotta, "...juicy ass that the boys in the south like." And the damn boy just doesn't like me.

I mean....he likes me, but not like I like him. He said, when the topic was broached (yes I broached it), that he thought I was an "interesting" girl. What the Fuck does that mean? I'm an "interesting" girl? Shit...that elicits about as much passion as a warmed over bagel.

As backstory our relationship did start off as a sex thing...sort of. I've never been really sure what we're doing. And for awhile didn't care. He's super sexy. I'd been celibate for 7 and half months, he passed my interview process and Voila....we were doing bedroom aerobics. I've been dating other people (read dating NOT sexing), sleeping with him and life has been good.

Then something happened. No, not how I felt about him, I've liked him for awhile, but what I wanted. After dating, and dating, and dating and not finding anyone that I liked nearly as much as I liked GH (Gym Hottie), I realized I wanted more then our pseudo sex relationship. I wanted someone I could call my own, if not him, then someone.

So I begin to get a little grumpy when he didn't call like he used to or come by like he used to. I mean he used to call just to say hi. He used to come by a couple times a week. Things were good. And then they weren't. And I'm not sure what happened. I mean, I chalk it up to him just not liking me. Maybe he did. And now he doesn't. And that interesting girl line doesn't help.

WHY? Why? Why? Why? Every damn other boy on this campus is trying to get at me. Everybody else wants to take me out, get my number, weasel their way over to my place. But NOOOOOOO, not the one sumabitch I want to ask me out, call me or weasel his way over to my place. Hell. Life just isn't damnit fair.