Friday, December 22, 2006

I'm Stuck...

...on campus. It is raining cats and dogs outside and I don't drive. More specifically, I don't know how to drive and on most days I walk to campus. Now I could go on and on about why I'm 26 and don't know how to drive, but I'm not. I'll save that post for another day.

Anywho while being stuck on campus I've been sitting in my office (yes I have an office) and surfing the web. While reading a blog that I read daily I came across this blog that was featured on the site, Finders Keepers Club. Maintained by Victorya Michaels Rogers, an author and relationship coach (how does one become one of those), the site's purpose is to encourage, "...single women on [their] search for Mr. Wonderful."

Usually I would say to such drivel Big Fucking Doo....but on one of her posts she reminds me of something I know but well, needed reminding:

When things change, the biggest mistake single gals make is thinking the guy he was during the first phase of your relationship was his true self! Thus, gals either take the blame onto themselves for the new behavior OR make every excuse you can think of for their man--such as "he's got trouble at work" or "he's under a lot of stress", "he was just kidding," etc. etc.

Ladies, "What you see IS what you get". Not "What you saw is what you will keep getting". Pay attention to what you are getting from your guy right now! In the first few months of dating ANYONE can be anything thing want. It's called acting. Hey we all act at least a little bit in the beginning. We deliberately put our best foot forward. There's nothing wrong with that. But eventually our true self has to emerge. Learn to stay alert in your relationship and notice how your boyfriend is treating you AFTER the newness has worn off. Otherwise you will end up just like way too many heartbroken (and divorced) women who have ignored warning signs, took on the blame, stayed in the relationship, married the guy and payed dearly for their mistake.Pay attention to what you get and one day you'll be surprised and thrilled to find a man who is truly still worth keeping after the 4th month of dating. Refuse to settle.

That's true. And when I complain about GH it usually goes a little like this:

But he used to call me and he used to come by regularly and he used to seem really interested in me. But now he doesn't.

Or my personal favorite:

He has so much going on in his life right now (which is true). Maybe if I just give him some time to get his life in order, things will go back to how they were (which probably isn't true).

It's not like I don't know better. It's not like I'm not an intelligent, insightful woman who doesn't know bullshit when she sees it. But at the end of the day I'm still just a girl who wants the guy I like to like me. And because of that I occasionally forget the shit I know to be true.

But I remember now. And will act accordingly.

No comments: