Thursday, September 18, 2008

Getting Fat is Relationship Suicide

Men don’t like to fuck fat chicks.

Sorry to be so blunt about it, but it’s true.

And let’s be clear, I’m not talking about guys who date big women and later marry the women already big. A friend of mine has a wife who was 250lbs if she was pound when they got married. She’s bigger now but hey, he doesn’t mind, he married her big.

My cousin was also a big girl when she got hitched. Her man (who is handsome and fine) had no problems with that and they are still happily married to this day.

In general, however, what I said at the beginning ot this post still stands: Men don’t like to fuck fat chicks.

A fact many women seem to overlook when they get married or get in relationships and proceed to pack on the pounds.

“My man loves me,” you say.

Sure but loving you and wanting to fuck you are two different things

“My man would never leave me,” you say.

Perhaps. But people stay in marriages for any number of reasons.

“My man would never cheat on me,” you say.

Well…that’s where you are might be wrong. See I’m a firm believer in, “if he ain’t sleeping with me then he’s sleeping with someone,” and packing on the pounds is surefire way to ensure that the marital bed isn’t being set on fire.

Let’s be real here: if you were married at 135 pounds and are now 185 pounds you are not the same women he married. You just aren’t. You don’t have as much energy. Probably can’t participate in the same activities and the sex surely ain’t what it used to be.

Can you blame him for not being happy (or faithful)?

Love may be unconditional but sexual attraction is not. And before anyone tries to sell me on the bogus idea that, attraction starts in the mind and if you love someone that automatically means you want to screw them, I will automatically call bullshit on the bullshit you’re selling.

Love and sex are not synonymous – a fact we seem to be aware of before we get starry eyed and fall in love and/or in matrimony.

So my advice to any woman who is married or in a long-term relationship is to keep it right and keep it tight. A ten-pound gain is one thing. A fifty-pound gain is another.

And before anybody comments otherwise: this applies to the fellas as well. There’s no way I’d keep sexing a man who went from fit and fabulous to fat and flabby. If I gotta raise your belly to find your ain’t happening.


Nu Jerooz said...

Girl, I'm mad @ you for betta hold my stomach up while I give you all 300lbs. of this lovin'!!!ROFL

Arnesia said...

I agree with you, that if you were 175 lbs and now you are 275 that you don't look the same, but I disagree with your implication that your sex life will be different in a bad way. It's all about pleasing your man and yourself in bed and out. Try new things. It doesn't matter what size you are. Learn to work with what you have and always keep him guessing and wanting for more. Remember what one woman won't do, there is always one that will!

Brie said...

I'm with you JJ...Arnesia, there may be a few (yes, a FEW) men who are of that mindset that "it does not matter what size you are" but the MAJORITY cares, especially if he found you at a much smaller size. Men are visual and if what he was visualizing awhile ago was a 175lb you and now he is seeing double he will more than likely turn his sights elsewhere. At certain weights it does not matter what you are working with, the fact is for most people they will not be able to work it like they use the very least it's other words, this was not what I signed up for. Not a good look if that was my man.

Bryan Wilhite said...

Are you trying to lose your American audience? I'm telling you from experience to ease up on the fat talk. People who protect fatness often fail to look into the close, personal thoughts behind why a person puts on pounds. When we open the hood and look at the psychological engine running fatness we often find an overweight person that really should not be in any adult intimate relationships. For a woman, eating can be very sensual---almost erotic. So it looks like she is not cheating on me because there is only food involved---but my boo is really cheating on me...

Anonymous said...

I don't know if I agree. I am married and both my husband and I gained weight. We fuck more now than ever. . .but maybe he wanted me to gain weight? I prefer him skinnier but his Penis didn't shrink. It still fits me rather perfectly. Are you married?

JJ said...


It's different if both of you put on one has a lot of room to complain, but I'ma be honest, I stay in the gym...I have a 4 year old and the pic at the top of this blog is me. So no, I'm not okay with my man packing on the pounds.

I'm not a cheater, but if you want me to be, that's a place to start.

clnmike said...

"Men don’t like to fuck fat chicks."

Now that is a straight up lie, lol.

It's all about how the fat is distributed, if her gut is bigger than her breast than there might be a problem.

But I have noticed that once you enter a relationship you seem to put on weight despite the fact that your daily activities have not changed. A sign of happiness I guess.

Mz Glam said...

I agree when most men get with women they expect them to stay the same body wise. If you go from 160 to 220 something aint right.But women are the same cuz I know damn well I aint bout to lift up a niggas fat flap just to have sex if he used to have abs. Cuz abs to flabs aint even kool.

Dallas Black said...

Love and sex are not synonymous ....preach nicca preach!

I am big boned myself but not sloppy and I like petite girls. I just dont like fat chicks who are all up in the Chick Filet drive thru all day. I workout like hell and try my best to look the best I can and I expect the same. I dont want all those donuts and Walmart fried chicken in the house I expect us to eat healthy. When it comes to sex nobody wants to be "lookin" for stuff. I mean not everybody has to be slim but be healthy and have a healthy attitude....damn. Dont nobody wanna be huffin and puffin during sex less than 2 minutes into it. If you can make it clap, I really dont want to fuck with you...thats just me.

Preach girl...

Dallas Black

MrMarques'72 said...


All I can say is I am glad to see you posted this! It's no secret that a lot of sistas been packing on the pounds...Now before someone starts writing a hailstorm of expletives at me, I will say that Americans in general are overweight, obese and just plain sloppy. But America's ills always affect black folk more than the general population. In the inner city, all we have are fast food spots: McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, KFC, etc. Sometimes I look at photos of big, fat black women wearing things that might be cute in a club...on someone else! Sistas, PLEASE stop wearing clothing that is too small...make that five small for you! It is not a cute look! The media loves portraying black women as loud, fat, rude and ghetto and certain type of women make the stereotype appear to be true. I don't care what a man says, NO MAN WANTS A FAT WOMAN!! Thick is one thing, disgustingly fat is another! Get that ass in the gym and back away from the table. I can only shake my head when I see women who are so big that they can barely walk. When I was in elementary school (more than 20 years ago), there were maybe one or two chubby or fat girls or boys in each class. Nowadays it seems that a third to half of these kids are already fat! People, this has gotta change!

Holla Back

yes said...

mike, bess believe the fat is goin straight to the stomach and thighs

Anonymous said...

That pic at the top is of you...? and you believe that's a good thing!?LMFAO isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. You are NOT exactly skinny

JJ said...


I never claimed to be skinny. But I'm not fat by any normal standards.

If your ideal is a size 2/4 with no hips, ass, or thighs...then yeah I guess you wouldn't see my pic as a good thing.

To each his own.

Anonymous said...

My wife was curvy and had a waist when we met, but pretty soon after we got married, she started overeating and snacking all the time. In eight years, she has gained over 100 pounds. What goes through an attractive woman's head to just eat herself into a big fat pig? At this rate, she'll be at 300 pounds soon. Maybe I can sign her up to be a contestant on The Biggest Loser?