Rule #3: Pay attention to the signs and act accordingly.
About a year ago I met a guy at a night club. It was really dark so I didn't really know what he looked like but I new he was short, dark and had a nice body. Anyway he asks for my number and I'm like, "what the heck."
Fast forward about a month and I get a phone call from a number I don't recognize. i answer and it's the guy from the club. He says he was going through his phone, saw the number and decided to call before he deleted it. So we talk for about an hour and have a FABULOUS conversation. This pops off two months of dating. But almost immediately I recognize something isn't right.
Dude has fly clothes, a fly ride, made it rain in the club and ALWAYS drank top shelf, just basically spent money like it was going out of style....with no job. Yeah he was a student and he could have been living off of financial aid (his dad provided no support) but he ws driving a 2007 Charger fully loaded. Things didn't add up. Add to that that anytime I asked him about work he got real mum. He was very open abut everything else but that.
So while we had a god time things never went anywhere. We hung out but I never let it go further then that because I figured dude was dealing or doing something illegal for him to be living the big life as a (broke) jobless college student.
I could have easily overlooked that and just paid attention to the fact that we had a great time together and he was an IBM (ideal Black Man): Fine, college educated, single and no kids. And then acted all shocked and amazed when down the line I find out he's dealing or up to other shady activities.
This is what I mean when I say, "Signs are everywhere and to act accordingly." It's so easy to overlook OBVIOUS signs that a person or a relationship isn't right for you. Women, especially Black women, can be so happy to have a man or to have found their ideal man that they overlook what should be red flags about who a person is and how they relate to you.
Don't overlook the signs...good or bad...because ultimately not paying attention to the obvious can cost you dearly.
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