Friday, October 05, 2007

The Cult of Man - The Truth Behind the Hype

I'm often told by men, that I"m "like a dude." They often say, "Damn Girl you just like a Nigger." And homeboy recently said that he knew I was, "Swinging about 5 or 6 inches over there."

When I was younger I viewed these sort of comments as a compliment. But not now. Now I'm just offended.

Why is it assumed that only men can enjoy sex for sex sakes or have causal relationships?

Why does that have to be "man like."

I'm not a man.

I'm a woman.

And my behavior is indicative of that.

I'm sure I"m not some aberration. I'm just more vocal about my wants, needs, likes and dislikes then others.

And the Cult of Man isn't all it is cracked up to be either. Just like women aren't all yearning for love and a relationships, all men aren't good at no strings attached sex.

Here some facts that many women overlook (or don't know about):

1. Men "catch feelings." All of the time. They may behave differently then women when they do (get jealous, possessive, easily angered when you're not available) but it's because the "How to be a Man Handbook" doesn't account for the fact that men have feelings and what to do about them when hey "catch them" especially if the relationship was supposed to be based on just sex.

2. Men don't like to be viewed as sex objects. Now lets be clear when I make these comments I'm speaking in general. But, yeah, men often get offended when they realize you just view them as a piece of ass. It doesn't sit well with them contrary to the popular belief that that is what they want.

3. Men want you to want them EVEN if they don't want you. A guy that I used to mess with keeps claiming that I don't want to mess with him anymore because I'm afraid of "catching feelings." Now this is despite the fact that I've told him REPEATEDLY, that I want to end things with us because I'm not looking for a fling but want a relationship. And no, I don't want a relationship with him.

But he can't grasp that concept. In his mind I have to want him and not just want him sexually but want him as my man. And the fear of that (he's already told me multiple times how he doesn't want a relationship) is keeping me from sexing him. LOL. SMH. But you see what I'm saying.

Well, there you have it. Three very common "myths" of maleness debunked. I know first hand the Cult of Maleness is not all it's cracked up to be. They come with many of the same worries, fears and insecurities that we do. They just hide it better then we do, largely because they have to.

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