Sunday, October 19, 2008

Calling All Mistresses, Jumpoffs and Other Women


Update: I'm going to accept submissions for the next 2 weeks. Submissions will remain open until Oct. 21. So keep them coming. I'm going to keep this post at the top of the blog for the next 2 weeks. Just scroll past to get to the most recent articles.

As I mentioned in the last post:

I'm calling all mistresses to tell your story. Why are you the side-piece? What are you getting out of it? And do you not feel guilty for potentially breaking up a family? Send me your responses via e-mail (tsjohnson5@gmail.com). They can be up to 500 words. And I will post your stories, anonymously of course.

I've already received a few submissions. I'd like more. Depending on how many I receive I will post them once or twice a week over a period of a 2 weeks to a month. So don't be shy. I really want to hear the stories of women who make their lives (or made their lives) with someone else's man.

Some of you have talked briefly about your situations in the comment section. If you're so inclined just shoot me an email with the rest of your story. I look forward to the submissions.

13 comments:

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

That will be interesting. I assume you mean girlfriends of married men. I wrote a helluva story about one, under the Hard Rocks Love #5. You're gonna enjoy writing that.

Anonymous said...

I think neither one wins - being a side piece is never good and when it all balls down, the woman always thinks he will leave his man squeeze for her. They think they have the magic choochie - which is far from the truth. usually the other woman does everything the man doesn't want his main chick to do. Yeah, the man chick my have his heart, but she doesn't have his respect. I'm product of my mother being the other woman. After my father got finish doing what he wanted with my mother, he left and never came back. My mother was left looking stupid and raising me on her own. I asked her, what did you think, by having me he would stay? She never answer, but I believe she thought she had something special and he would leave his wife and two kids for her. NOT!! I disagree with my mother all the time, her favorite comment is a man will have many girlfriends but will only take one wife. I think that is so crazy and woman that believe that, doesn't believe they are worthy of being the only one - they feel they have to lower their standards to have a man. I think NOT! I rather be alone and happy then be with someone who strays every now and then - turns around and buy expensive things for me to keep me happy. Tiny is only dealing with TI because has money and she has nothing. What really bothers me the most is that she has not self respect for herself that she will allow this man to go into her raw and have his kids, no dag on well, he is sleeping around. Condom or NOT, AIDS IS REAL!!What are you teaching your daughter and your sons. No one wins, the only one that wins, if the one that will not tolerate men cheating on them constantly and thinks it's okay.

djmadmike said...

this is going to get good...you got to put a males perspective or boy spin on this.
mv
www.blackfitnessblog.com

Anonymous said...

Any woman who has an affair with a married man with the intent of marrying him herself is a total ass, and deluded. I have had several affairs with married men. Why? Because I wanted physical and intellectual interaction with no commitment, no expectations, and no responsibilities. I had a good job, income, social life and I did NOT want a man messing up my life. The only thing I took from these men was some time - nothing else. Indeed, if we did go out to dinner I usually paid - not that they couldn't afford to but their money was for their family.

I never wanted to marry and dating single men brought complications I wanted no part of. Besides these married men were friends before they were lovers, it was comfortable, convenient, satisfying on every level and best of all, hassle and commitment free.

Anonymous said...

I've been the other woman, and when it all balls down, you lose who you truly are. Being the other woman only shows you how much you truly love yourself. I was tired of cheating men and giving my all and getting nothing in return. I just wanted to do me for once and play on my terms.

I went it knowning he had a girl on the side. She wasn't his wife, so I basically didn't care. We started out talking as friends, sharing advice, but there was always an attraction between us. It took us 11 months before we became sexual. What I wanted was discussed up front, and what he could give me or provide was discussed. We both were in agreement with the situation.

I basically had the same benefits his main girl. I had the dinner dates, out of town trips, getting bills paid, hanging out with his friend and mines, spending time at my place or his place. Holidays were okay too, I got gifts, sometimes the same thing he brought her. I guess it was easy thinking for him. I was fine with this situation for over year and half because it provided me a stress free relationship. It was easy go lucky relationship, no stress, no pressure and no foolishness.

This type of relationship isn't for the weak or other motives; thinking he is going to leave his girl for you, usually it rarely happens. If he leaves his girl for you, eventually he will leave you for someone else. So be prepared.

The problem comes when one talks too much or become too emotionally involved. In my case, the dude became too emotionally involved. Calling too much, wanting to know my every move, wanting more and saying I love you. I cared for dude, but honestly, he wasn't what I wanted. Not someone to settle down with, why because Karma is bitch! I kept my end of the bargain up, I did what I set out to do, deal with a dude on my terms and treat them like they treated us for change. I kept my feelings intact and I made sure I didn't read into every word he said, dude will say anything while he is in you and the sex is good. When dude started acting like the girl, fussing, questioning and dropping by unannounced, I knew things had gone too far.

Even though I liked dude, cared for him, I had no strong feelings for him, wanting more. More and more I thought about it, I realize, because of my past experience I became the other woman to prove a point to myself. I became someone I didn't like or ever wanted to be.

So actually no one win in the end.

Ebony Intuition said...

How come the women on the side are the ones who are doing wrong. what does it show and prove about men.
Are men better men because they cheat on their wives , do they become better husbands or fathers.

Everyone is punishing the other women but not punishing the man who took the vow to get married.

Anonymous said...

ebony intuition the reason why is cause this blog is called calling all mistresses,jumpoffs and other women...
now these men may not be better for their actions but they do go home and take care of business...the ones who do a sloppy job and become disrespectful on the other hand, thats a different story. either way these other women have a need and a want...to each their own
www.blackfitnessblog.com

Ebony Intuition said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ebony Intuition said...

@ anon, I know what the title of the post is called, I was only presenting a question that women refuse to answer. As long as women point the finger at other women, the men will continue with their actions.

@ anon
"After my father got finish doing what he wanted with my mother, he left and never came back. My mother was left looking stupid and raising me on her own."

A woman is never stupid for raising a child on their own, my mother raised me and my sister own her own and she doesn't deserve to be called to stupid. Men are stupid for not raising their children. When women get divorced what do you think happens they have to raise kids on their own, when the husband or father dies , women have to raise children on their own. As you can see there is a pattern regardless if a women is married or not, women usually end up raising kids on their own.

My father left my mother, but his biggest mistake was not the fact that he had an affiar , his biggest mistake in which he told me because he is now in my life. His biggest mistake was allowing his wife to influence him in disowning one of his children. My father's wife who is the mother of my 3 older sisters, are not even married anymore, why? because his wife was the most selfish person out there she only cared about herself and no one else, she didn't help with raising her own kids because all she cared about was being the "MRS" and living in a nice house and having every new outfit and getting her hair and nails done. When my father divorced his wife, he even had to call the police because she refused to move out of the house when the divorce was final (thats what you call a delusional women).

Now your probally wondering how do I know all this , its because my older sisters & father were open and honest about everything that happened between my mom, our dad and their mother. I was very lucky to have siters and a father who always wanted to meet me and did reunite with me.

So please do not ridicule your mother for your father not being in your life. At the end of the day your mother still raised you and im very sure she did a great job of doing so, be thankful, their are kids out there that don't have either father or mother due to other reasons.

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Anonymous said...

sensless crap.

sexyndacity said...

You are mad at the side chick which is understandable. I use to be a former side chick and it's hurtful especially when there is feelings involved. The guy I was with had a baby mother at home and when ever he came around I was his chick to his friends we did everything together but he was mainly happy with me and now we live together. He would have to go home at the end of the day and I was alone. You can't help who you love. Many women drive away the man. A man comes home from work and you are complaining about his shoes not put where they belong. No one wants to hear that crap I wouldn't want to be with a man that was a complainer. I hate the term "Home Wrecker." Face it you've had problems before she came along. No one carries a gun around begging the man to cheat. Get to know these men before he is named your boo or your baby daddy and you wouldn't have to put up with the drama he comes with.

sexyndacity said...

Some people end up leaving their partners for others and end up being together longer than the previous relationship was. Look at the artist Sting he married his next door neighbor and they have been married for over 20yrs. There is someone out there for you maybe he wasn't for you. Look if the woman cheats she is a whore when the woman is the side chick she is the jumpoff. Maybe this other girl treats him better than you do and makes him happy. Men and women cheat. That's just life be happy with yourself. Love yourself first then you will be able to love a man or woman and keep them content and happy with you.