Friday, June 01, 2007

So I'm Back....

...home and for all intents and purposes on the rebound. I have an ex here who has been trying to get back with me for awhile. He's easily (as he puts it) been sweating me on the low for quite some time now.

I saw him yesterday and I ain't gone lie...he looked good...real good. And to be blatantly vulgar for a moment still has the ability to get my panties wet. With ease. Hell a kiss on the neck, a nibble on the ear, a gentle caress and that Barry White voice of his and I'm soaked through and through. It's damn pathetic I say but it is what it is.

Unfortunately for me the guy back in Tallahassee who I thought was going to be the rebound guy doesn't exactly illicit the same response. He's not as hot as his pic he has online (we're on the same social networking site) and while he's a nice guy...a nice, cute guy....he just doesn't cut it for rebound material. Rebound guys should be uber hot, well hung and ready and willing to get down at a moments notice as often as you like. He's cute, nice, funny and would probably make good boyfriend material. Not good fucking material. Sigh.

But the real question in all of this is, do I even want to deal with the end of my relationship with GH in my normal way. I mean, perhaps I should use the opportunity to grow up, re-evaluate my relationship choices, learn from obviously poor decisions and move on. As much as I would like to get laid right's not quite as fun as it used to be. I bore a lot easier, the sex generally isn't as hot, and at the end of the day I probably want something more than just a random lay but still not quite a relationship. At least not a monogamous one anyway.

Sigh. I don't know what I'm going to do. My longtime homeboy says I have trust issues. I say I have commitment issues. In reality I have an unwillingness to get emotionally close to anyone issues. What category that falls in I'm not quite sure but does it even matter anyway? It all ends up the same: Me alone, no real prospects and a very empty bed.

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